Archive for November, 2012

Destination: Housewife

Well, my last posts got off-topic from what I intended this blog to be. But, I guess it’s mostly about what I’m passionate about, and I don’t what to drive my HH (handsome hubby) crazy with all my extra words left over at the end of the day. So, in that vein, I think I may be right on track. After all, you can just stop reading; I usually expect him to nod and say “uh-uh.”

Two weeks ago, I went to a meeting for the Magdalene House Society. I’m a member. Before you think I’m tooting my own horn, I’ll inform you that to become a member costs $10 and an email address. So, yes, I’m a member. It was the annual general meeting, and I was excited for days.

You see, the MHS is trying to open a home in a city close by, for victims of human trafficking. Now, I could go on and on with statistics about those affected, stories I’ve read, testimonies I’ve heard, about children kidnapped or sold and forced to live a life at the mercy of others. It can be as “minimal” as brought to another country to work one job, but having to work another because of intimidation, or as huge as becoming a sex slave at a young age. Both sides of the spectrum, and everything is between, is a huge market that the world chooses to ignore. Once they are here, in Canada, they are stuck. They can’t exactly go home. Perhaps they were sold in the first place, or the work they have had may change who they are. Whatever the case, they need housing and support until they can get on their own two feet. Hence, the MHS. 

So I went to this meeting, so excited. This is an issue that hurts me in places I can’t express. I am on fire about this. I want the world to wake up. I want people to see that things they buy often brings effects in areas and countries they have no clue about. That there are people hurting all over the world, and the laws in place, well, aren’t in place yet. It is huge, something that technically, I have been passionate about since early high school. And here I am, on a cold Wednesday night, in a meeting, that is going to mark the beginning of the end of this huge injustice.

Well.

Obviously, there was lots of business to address. Finances,awareness, fundraising, all these things are necessary before the program can begin. Motions had to be moved, and seconded. A very pleasant meeting, a few chuckles, some great reports about last year. And then there came mention that they needed board members who were passionate about  the cause to help make decisions, help plan fundraisers, be the force behind the Home. 

I could barely sit still.

That’s ME! I care! I am so passionate about this, I read about it in my spare time, I pray about it, I cry about it. I have some leadership experience, I am good at organizing and planning, this is MEEEEE! Oh, pick me, PICK ME!

But ME isn’t just “me.” I forgot to mention that I arrived at the meeting with spaghetti sauce smeared on my shoulder from the goodbye kisses of our youngest little one. And that my feet were swollen because of the new baby on the way. And I had to keep sneaking texts to my HH, because I really missed him.

So, what’s a girl to do? I came in the door that night, newly energized that I was actually DOING SOMETHING for once, and then erupted in tears in my HH’s lap. And we came to a great decision that I would be a “board member in my heart.” I’m going to go to all the meetings that I can. I am going to volunteer where I can, plan what I can, spread awareness where I can.

But if my little ones, or my HH, need me, that’s where I belong. 

This was probably the first sacrifice that really hurt, since becoming a mom. I still don’t know why God made me, so wonderfully and fearfully- with SO much passion, drive, and energy to reach the children around the world for Him, to speak His name in love, to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, mother the orphans- and then stuck me right dab in the middle of White Bread Rural Alberta. 

I didn’t even mention that this meeting was 45 minutes away, cost $30 to attend (I had to be in four wheel drive, the roads were awful) and went waaaay past my bedtime.

I know that this is right, for me, for our family. But man, if I don’t just wish that I could do it all. Why, oh why, is this wasted on me, when lots of other people don’t care, or choose to not to dwell on it, and live happy, satisfactory lives. You know, the ones who have time to manicure their lawn, paint their toe nails, and shower every day. 

But these little ones that Jesus gave to us, they are important too. And I really love them.

I really, really, really, pray that I am raising up a missionary. . . 

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I love you, you love me, we’re a happy family . . . A Modern Day Church

If you are not, or have never, been part of a church family, I would love to clarify what they are like. Often, I find people who don’t go to church regularly have very skewed ideas. They expect to go to a place where everyone is like Jesus, has only the divine goals in mind, and will be accepting and open to all who walk through the doors.

Now for the reality.

1. We are all the same. That is, we are all saved by grace. GRACE. That means that our actions sure as heck didn’t do it. It was by GRACE. We are walking examples that GRACE is the reason we have hope. Yes, we read the Bible, raise our hands to our Maker, fall on our knees to Jesus, put our tithes in the plate, volunteer, help out, try our best, but we know that it is by GRACE! We are well aware of our inadequacies. And if we aren’t, we are suffering from pride, and you should pray for us.

2. There is no roll call at church. No one checks attendance. Sometimes, if people are newer (like six months to a year) they don’t know who’s “new” or born into the church. It can often be awkward to introduce yourself to someone that’s new, only to find out it’s an elder or someone that you have never noticed before. So, it holds people back. If you don’t know someone, just introduce your self already. It will be even more awkward next week, so just get it over with now.

3. People still carry their personalities when they walk in. People are shy, people are distant, people are busy, people have little kids that require attention, people are afraid to be the initiators, people are afraid to offend, the list goes on for as many people as the Lord has made. In the end, they are all people. We are all working through stuff, we are all human, we are all saved by GRACE (see #1). It would be wonderful if we turned into mindless robots when we walked through the door, unafraid to give out a hearty hug to a stranger. And some people do just that! Some people are trying. Some people are coming to church today because they need to be filled up by Jesus, desperately, and cannot handle any small talk. If only we had GRACE for each other, as Jesus had GRACE for us.

4. The church was not intended to meet “needs” that are not spoken of in the Bible. See previous blog entry (Church: Ask not what your church can do for you.) The church was started to help each other grow in Jesus. To speak of His name. To learn of the things He is doing. To praise Him collectively, to beseech Him collectively. Acts is an amazing book to read for this matter. I don’t want to get too technical, I know too many Bible school students who know way more than me. But I do know this: I can read, and from what I understand, the church was a group of believers who got together for loooong services. They did not have a nursery, they did not have a gym. I think they did eat together, and I think they probably all contributed where they could. They did not have a ministry committee for every need that came up. I believe that they all filled needs as they came. If someone was hungry, they fed them. If someone was naked, they clothed them. It’s so great that are so many ministries that serve so many needs. . . but we shouldn’t “need” them. We cannot penalize a church for something it doesn’t have, when the Bible never says it has to have it in the first place. That is a totally modern, new philosophy, brought about by our gym industry, commercial industry, etc. Thirty years ago, no one would have jumped ship and started a new church because there was a lacking in the prison ministry, for example. If there is a need you have noticed in your church, FILL IT. God brought it to your attention in the first place, and for a great reason. You will do an awesome job.

5. Conflict is inevitable. That means, it will happen. It will happen with your pastor, it will happen with your friend, it will happen. I cannot make that clear enough. Just like it happens in your family. The Bible has clear directions of what to do in each situation. If it happens with a friend, or a “fellow believer who happens to go to the same church as you, because obviously a real friend would never do that,” check out Matthew 18:15. If you have an issue with a pastor or leader in the church, check out 1 Timothy 5:19-21. Is this all the Bible says about conflicts and fights? NO! Read the Bible; pray; He will tell you more. No matter what church you go to under the sun, there will be hurts, offenses, and problems. If there aren’t any at your church now, you aren’t going enough, or you just aren’t hearing about them. If you quit your family when your little brother read your diary, feel free to quit your church at any time. Otherwise, this is your church family, and we are to give them the same grace, forgiveness and love we give to the families we lived with. If someone enters your room without knocking, go to them and tell them. If someone doesn’t take their turn in clearing the table AGAIN, go to them and tell them. If someone leaves your bike in the driveway behind mom’s car, go to them and tell them. Speaking of myself here, I have NEVER gotten up in the morning, and thought, “I will not rest, until I hurt or offend my Christian sister deeply.” But I know I have often hurt people without meaning to. I’ve been a part of a church for 28 years, obviously I’ve hurt people. But I will never know unless someone tells me. And each time someone followed what the Bible says and told me my wrong, I have learned more about myself, my Creator, and His forgiveness. What a gift that is. To be completely candid here, recently someone brought to my attention an offense I had made at a church over 12 years ago. I had already asked God for forgiveness and done what I could to rectify the situation. However, I didn’t realize that I was still carrying guilt about it. To have someone bring it up to me, on social media, so far after the fact, gave me the chance to ask for forgiveness from them, too! I didn’t want to bring it up myself, because it felt “awkward.” Oh, do I hate awkward. But mercy, was it wonderful to simply be able to make things right. What a burden off my heart, that I didn’t even know was still there! I don’t think that Matthew mentions facebook, but man, to be able to keep in touch so easily, and find forgiveness in things from so long ago, so EASILY, at a click of a button.

6. Church is MESSY. It is messy on Sunday morning, when the lady across the aisle is sobbing her heart out, carrying burdens that were never meant for her to carry. It is messy in sickness, broken relationships, death. There will always be drama. There will always be pain. There will always be hurt. DO NOT DRAW AWAY FROM THAT. That is where the Lord is. When we listen to a sister crying about a broken friendship, or a problem on her heart, we have an opportunity to be Jesus, and see Jesus. When we are there in the messy, the nitty gritty, we are able to see God’s promises at work. I know my life: I see Jesus every day, and usually in the same things. A wise word from my child; a loving embrace from my husband; the gifts of the Holy Spirit, when I know I couldn’t do it alone. But to see how Jesus works in YOUR life, that shows me how BIG my God is. And that He is there for all generations, eternally. I will never face the same problems you do, but in watching you, I know that He is there no matter what, and that no problem is too big for my God. This is why we are all parts of the same body. You need every single one to work together, to be the whole. It’s a picture of Jesus. 1 Corinthians 12 says:

Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ.  For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many.  Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body.  And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body.  If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be?  But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be.  If they were all one part, where would the body be?  As it is, there are many parts, but one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!”  On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty,  while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other.  If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.  And God has placed in the church first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, then gifts of healing, of helping, of guidance, and of different kinds of tongues.  Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles?  Do all have gifts of healing? Do all speak in tongues? Do all interpret?  Now eagerly desire the greater gifts. (NIV)

I am so blessed to be part of a family. An imperfect family, but one who has my back. And one that needs me. And if they forget they need me, I can show them to the Bible to remind them. You are needed, too. If you are not part of a church family, find one. Just know that it is as imperfect as you are. I love church: I love the inner workings of it, I love the book of Acts, and the epistles where Paul yells at the church. I think we need an Apostle Paul today to just write letters to churches and show them the things they need to work on. That’s why I have been writing about it. It is such a huge part of our family. Do I know everything about it? No, no, no. When I read the Bible and what it says about church, am I reading it with my own interpretation? YOU BET. I am speaking from my own experiences. When I read about the “church” in the news, does it hurt me? Oh, yeah. We are all part of a big family, and when one part suffers, we all suffer. I will tell you this: when you judge the church, you are judging God. You are judging His people. The church is not a building, a facility, a service. The church is a group of believers, of brothers and sisters. You cannot judge God’s people. Check out Matthew 7, Luke 6,  look it up in the commentaries, there is SO MUCH in there. If you judge your brothers and sisters, best of luck to ya. It’s so easy to say, and hard to follow, I know. I think we all wrestle with this. The important part is we have to wrestle!

I would love to hear your replies! What do you think of church?

Wanted: A Few Good Men

There is often, in most cases, one person in the very front of the church, facing the congregation. Who is he? What is his role? We know what we expect, but what does the Bible say?

As a sidenote, I have never been to Bible school. But I can read. Sometimes, I may interpret differently, but when it’s in black and white, and in version after version, it is what it is. So, if you don’t agree with me, and EVEN IF YOU DO, crack open the Big Book.

The word “Pastor” is what I use when referring to the man at the head of our church. That’s just the word I like. In the King James Version, 1 Timothy 3  refers to pastors as “bishops.” However, the NIV uses the terms “overseers.”  So, call it what you may, I think this is referring to the leader of a Bible-based church. I will come back to this later.

What does the Bible say?

1 Timothy 3: 1-7 -Here is a trustworthy saying: Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task. Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.  He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?) He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil. He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil’s trap.

Okay, that tells me what he is supposed to be “like.” I guess these are the job qualifications, but not really the job description.

Ephesians 4:11-13-  So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers,  to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.

1 Peter 5:1-4– To the elders among you, I appeal as a fellow elder and a witness of Christ’s sufferings who also will share in the glory to be revealed:  Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, watching over them—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock.  And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away.

Titus 1:9– He must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it.

This kind of tell me what he is supposed to do. As a matter of fact, this is all I can find that is specifically about the head of the church. Can you find anything else? I’ve searched and checked the context about many things, and they all come back to believers. Not necessarily the head of the church.

I’ve searched the Bible, I’ve searched the commentaries. What it seems to me is that they are responsible for our faith, before God. One site that I liked mentioned an entire list of things they “should do.” To me, it seems like the most wonderful thing we can hope for is that they can be a picture of Jesus to us, a Good Shepherd of sorts. They show us by example how to live, how to love, how to serve. We can look to their family as an example. We can talk to them. We can ask questions, and trust they know the answer. However, we must follow the same call to love and to serve, as they do. As a matter of fact, something I’ve been considering lately is that when I received the Holy Spirit by making Jesus mine, my life should be showing the fruits:  love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:24). Oh, definitely: all day, every day, that is a picture of me! Imagine!

Now I come back to the “unrest” in churches, where ministries are torn apart, and elders, pastors and deacons are judged. I know now, that they are responsible for the church. They are the overseers, they are the examples. But their call to life is the same as mine. What does the Bible say about when we have a problem with a church leader?

1 Timothy 5:19-21: Do not entertain an accusation against an elder unless it is brought by two or three witnesses. But those elders who are sinning you are to reprove before everyone, so that the others may take warning. I charge you, in the sight of God and Christ Jesus and the elect angels, to keep these instructions without partiality, and to do nothing out of favoritism.

He “charges” us? Obviously, that’s the Apostle Paul talking, and he sounds pretty serious. And when he says “without partiality,” does that mean we cannot be partial to our best friend? Or someone we know really well? Or someone also holds power? Thank you, Lord, that when you hold these men (and possibly women) responsible for your sheep, you also cover them with your protection. One would have to be pretty confident that their issue or their problem is  iron-clad to go up in front of others. When we don’t follow this, and we talk in private, on the phone, over coffee, there is almost no accountability. Women, especially, are quick to forgive a friend who is “venting.” God’s people can not listen to this talk: without partiality, it cannot be entertained. It cannot be given the time of day. Obviously, I think before going in public, we should follow the Matthew 18:15 prescription: If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. If that doesn’t work, in love and immersed in God’s Word and praying, go to step 2. But never, never, speak against the ones who hold office of the Lord. We have been told.

Now, do you think this could be true of all ministry leaders? Of all the people who serve God in an area of power? After all, when the Bible was written their probably wasn’t a youth minister, a children’s minister, etc. Do you think God gave Paul this instruction for all the people who serve Him?

Church: Ask not what your church can do for you. . .

There is a lot of disillusionment in the church. I find this to be true in my own church, as well as from other Christians. I blame the gym.

At the gym, you pay a membership fee, or you can sometimes attend free for a time.

You now have access to one on one trainers, who are concerned and committed to your physical needs. They will ask you what you eat, how much, what time. They will scrutinize every inch of your body. They will point out the area in the back of your thighs that you cannot see. Luckily they did or you would not have noticed it, and you would not have been able to fix it. They do all this with a professional, caring detachment. They are not your friends, but they care deeply about your body. They show you the exercises, tailored exclusively for you, that will benefit you most. You will meet the trainer, maybe the manager, but never the owner, if there is only one. Usually they are a franchise, a group of shareholders, but in the end, faceless.

There is a day care for your children. They will provide your progeny with healthy snacks to nourish their bodies. They will have activities for your children to prevent the mere hint of boredom, which would cause them to wail and ultimately make their job harder. These people are trained in the education of little ones, have safety in mind and certificates to back it up. They may or may not have hostage negotiation training. This is a safe place for your children, so that you can have the time be yourself that you deserve.

There is a cafe or restaurant. This food can be guaranteed to be nourishing for you, filled with vitamins, minerals and anti-oxidants. You will not know that some of these items are even food, or whether they are fruits, vegetables, or an underwater plant life. Good thing that they are there to educate you, because you could not do this yourself.

There is a front desk, equipped with a very good-looking secretary to tell you where you need to be, and to answer all your questions. Her sweet voice will answer the phone to schedule your sessions. Her body will tell you what you can one day attain. Her computer will continue to inconspicuously withdraw your membership payment, well after your interest has waned. 

The entire facility is filled with smiling people. The building is clean, open, filled with music to inspire you, invigorate you, pump you UP. This is a good place. Do you have problems? Power through them: kick higher, punch harder, run faster, dance longer. You are in control.

Well, that’s not church.

Churches do not require membership fees. You may use their programs, their facilities, their furniture, their kitchen. If you tithe honestly and regularly, it pays for these things as well as the overhead, the mortgage, the utility bill. If you do not tithe, the likelihood of someone asking you or reminding you is nil. The preacher may preach one Sunday a year, and that is too much for some people. Money is ours, you have no right to it. Ask at any church and you will find a budget strained, full pockets in the congregation, and empty tummies in the street.

We have a One on one trainer. He comes in the form of a manual, that must be read. He talks to you through His Holy Spirit. We often reject it, because we don’t like what it says. We don’t want to know of areas that need working on. We want REAL LIFE. We want someone to encourage us, someone to reach out to us, someone to be our friend, someone to get angry with when we don’t like the Truth. We want someone to be in a relationship with us, of them caring for us, serving us, in the areas that are neglected. In the midst of these legitimate areas of need, we neglect the One who gave us the needs in the first place. Our church has leadership, namely elders and deacons, a pastor and his wife. They make decisions regarding the church, they hear the gripes, they decide who can be helped. They prayerfully consider spreading what the church has among missionaries, budgets, salaries, bills, widows, the starving. They have big hopes, and big dreams. This is a dedication of service to the Lord, and often He is the only One who sees the nitty gritty of the tasks. Most of these people are not paid for this work, although the pastor is. His or hers is a job that is in constant balance, because it is 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Their families, or the crying parishioner? The parent-teacher interview, or the fighting congregants? The date night with the wife, or the one at the hospital, breathing their last? The family dinner, or the phone call? 

Then there are children’s and youth ministries. They are filled with people who love Jesus, love children, and try to serve Him through them. They do not get paid for this. They must deal with discipline, neglect, budgets, parents, small spaces, comparisons to “other churches,” schedules, curriculums and glitter. They must have proof that they have not committed any crimes against children, or even been suspected of it. After all, it happened in that other church and really, what “normal” person wants to do this job? We must check them out and get references. And this is on top of their regular jobs and families. 

And there are the front line workers. These are the ones who serve the ministries, answer the phones, help where they can, do what they are able. A very noble calling. They also do not get paid. They are not perfect on the outside; mercy, they aren’t perfect on the inside. But they are serving the Lord. Some are dedicated, some are not. Some pray constantly for the good of the church, the ministries, the people in the street. Some care only what they can get out of it, and that their needs are met.

The facility itself can be in any condition. After a function where people are served, loved, fed or ministered to, the place can look like an insurance claim in waiting. When volunteers are the ones doing all the work, what, really, can you demand of them? Apparently lots. Complaints are often heard by all when it is not in perfect ship-shape order. The building must be manicured, lawns mowed, kitchen sparkling, classrooms inviting and perfect. And one better not be able to detect what actually goes on in the restrooms. Comment card, anyone?

All of these people make up a whole. They all have exactly one thing in common: sinners, redeemed in Christ. Not one is closer to Jesus, not one is smarter than the other. They will all vary in forms of commitment to their Savior. Some may read their bibles daily, and be one with Jesus all day long. Some may pray as often as they feel they can, and join studies where someone will read to them so they can officially cross it off their spiritual “to do” list. Some will perform lip service on Sunday, and hit the bar Monday. Some will hold it in their hearts, but not know where to go from there. Some may preach it to everyone who will listen. Some may be Jesus to their neighbors. These people are as unique as can be, yet the world sees them as one whole. When the world hears “Christian,” we are all painted with the same brush, covered with the same label.

Wait. 

What does the world see that we don’t see?

When I go to the gym, I expect the secretary to answer the phone, the trainer to train, the manager to manage. I would never expect the group of shareholders to evaluate my hips. All the employees have clear roles, completely laid out, complete with training, school requirements and time off.

What of the church? Is the pastor responsible for our needs? Or are we all called to the same work? Are we all called to serve each other? Are we all called to take our hurts to Jesus first, and in a dispute, follow the steps laid out for us in our 32 different bibles and translations? Or do we go to the “board,” the elders, the deacons, the pastor, our neighbors, our unsaved friends? After all, the board needs to take care of us. They know what’s best. They know the One who answers when we knock.

What of our needs? Should there not be a ministry to support them, fulfill them, serve them? What of people hurting? Should the board not DO SOMETHING about them? Should we not bring it to their attention, for this is their responsibility? 

Should the hierarchy we have put in place be responsible for the roles that we have created for them?

Or.

Are we all called to the same job as the pastor himself, but, thank you Lord, with less accountability? Am I not a missionary, a “pastor”, in the sense that I must take care of those I know who are hurting? When the world labels me a Bible-thumping, old-school, conservative mama, and puts me in the same place as a board member, a pastor’s wife, a missionary, a martyr, I’m beginning to the think the world may be right.

I think that’s what does the Bible says. 

Is it?

I don’t think we truly want to know.

But I am going to find out.

I will tell you this: the church is not the gym. It was never meant to be. It was meant to be the church. What does that mean? What does the Bible say? I value your feedback. I would be very upset if I went to the library, expecting to buy lawn furniture. Is that what Christians are doing when attending church or ministries?

Tell me what you think, and tell me what you are praying for.

Good morning!

Last night, my handsome hubby and I watched the movie Blood Diamond. Mercy, there was a lot of violence, which is not my thing. But it awakened in me the same things that pop up over and over whenever I am hearing about the lives of children around the world. Child trafficking, child soldiers, all these things bring up a passion in me, which I wailed last night, is completely useless. I have three kids, one on the way. I work one or two days a week, with my children. I homeschool (just one, so not a big job yet, but it is certainly on my horizon.) I am involved in as much ministry as our young family can handle. So why, oh Lord, did you give me such a heartbreaking love for the children I do not see in our daily lives?

I am starting this blog, because I need to rant. I wish I could journal, I wish I could sit and swing back coffees with friends for the better part of a day, exchanging musings on social justice. But that isn’t where I am. I love my home, my family, my husband, my church, but I don’t often get to indulge in “me time.” So, now I am. I know my hubby loves me enough to listen to my 30,000 words that are saved for the end of the day, but I love him enough to know that while he thanks the Lord for my passion daily, he certainly doesn’t have to endure it after a hard day’s work. Maybe it will help me find ways to help, in our daily lives. Maybe it will cause someone else to care. Maybe it will do nothing, and no one will read it.

So where do I start today? I guess I’m wondering why God made me the way He did. Why do I care about injustice, even in the smallest ways? Why do I feel such a burden to be a light to His name? Well, let’s start where I am. I am raising up young children to follow the Lord. In everything. All the time. That’s important, and certainly not insignificant. And boy, do I love it. To hear our three year old, just this week, pray to Jesus for something on his heart in his own words and his own way was enough to let me float for a month. And to hear our four year old memorize scripture and look for ways to apply it in his daily life. I know that this is relevant. Even to listen to our one year old baby try and pray with us, speaking in tongues that only the Father can understand. This is good. I know the world will tell me that it is a waste, that I should be doing other things with them, blah blah blah. And I’m okay with that, I’ll be different. But why isn’t that enough? Why do I feel such an overwhelming burden for children that I don’t know, and will never see? 

I guess it all comes down to, what’s the point?